Its a...............

BOY!!!!!!

My Dr doesn't normally do US's every time, but lately the anxiety I've been having about this baby and the pregnancy was getting worse. I'm approaching the time when things got worse and worse daily in my pregnancy with Harrison and will soon be 21 weeks when I had Harrison. So its a hard time for me. I almost called my Dr last week because I was having weird pains and was just worried/anxious. But I decided I could wait one more week. A lot of people after 12 weeks think, phew, I'm out of the scary part, and a lot of people keep telling me, you made it past the scary part, but I haven't. I had a baby at 21 weeks and have a lot of friends who had babies die at term, so I don't think until I have this baby home and in my arms, that I will be able to breath comfortably. So I asked Trent if he could rearrange his schedule so he could come to the appt. with me to give me a little support. When the nurse walked in I was trying not to cry. Just a lot of emotions and worry over getting closer to the 21 week mark. She could tell I was a bit anxious. So she said she'd ask the Dr if he would do an US and reassure me and give me a peace of mind. She then walked us into the US room and the minute she closed the door I lost it. I couldn't stop crying. I wasn't sure if I was so anxious and emotional because of everything that's happened or if my body was telling me something was really wrong. I am so glad Trent was there to hug me and comfort me. He reassured me that everything would be ok, but I'd heard that before, but I knew this time he was right. Then my sweet Dr. came in and was wonderful as always and said he'd be glad to see me anytime to calm my nerves. So he did the US right away and there was the sweet baby waving at us. It was so cute. My Dr couldn't have been happier, my placenta was in the right place, no blood clots, no cysts, perfect heartbeat and baby. I was so relieved. I was shaking and still crying but I was happy. My dr was wonderful and explained its very common when you've had a traumatic experience to be emotional and feel overwhelmed when things trigger similar experiences. He was so glad to give us good news and to be apart of it.

We then asked if he could tell what it was so he said he'd try. He was pretty sure the "stuff" was boy stuff but he said he wasn't 100% sure but almost. So there you have it. A boy. I was shocked, I don't know why but I really thought it was a girl. But I am so happy its a boy. I know when he's born it will be emotional holding a live baby boy but I know it will also be good for us. I know Hudson and Ruby are so happy its a boy because they miss their baby brother and now they will get to have one here on earth. So for now, my nerves are calmed. I know as I approach the 20-21 mark that it is going to be emotional but I am so grateful to be pregnant again, I wasn't sure it would ever happen again and I am grateful for this baby boy. We can't wait for him to come, although we can.