Griffin's Birth Story

 (beware, long post for my records)

We have been anxiously awaiting the arrival of our little guy for sometime now. Since losing Harrison we've been wanting another baby so bad and feeling like something was missing.  Not that Griffin will replace Harrison but will help fill a whole we've had in our hearts. Griffin is our little light of hope. These 39 weeks or so waiting for Griffin were one of happiness, anxiety, fear, and joy. I was so lucky to have gotten pregnant again, which after how traumatic the labor was with Harrison we weren't sure that would be possible, so to be pregnant and to have had a great pregnancy was all we hoped for. Everything was normal, just like my previous pregnancies, so there really was no risk of anything happening, although I was still nervous. There was always talk of having Finn early but when it came down to it, because nothing was wrong and I wasn't progressing my Dr legally couldn't deliver me any earlier than a week. All I wanted to do was get to a point where he was viable and then I knew whenever he was born he would be ok.
Last week, on Wednesday May 26th I had been having contractions on and off all day and then as the night went on they became stronger and more regular. I thought I would have to go to the hospital that night but when I woke up in the morning I was disappointed that I was still at home. I had my last Dr appointment the that night at 9:00. So I was hoping my Dr would just start me that day.
Trent came with me, my Dr checked me and the contractions I had been having the day before had progressed me to a 2 not the best news but at least I was progressing. he swept my membranes, and in his office I started contracting about every 5 min so he said, "Want to have a baby today? You've waited long enough lets do this." Trent and I were shocked. As much as we wanted to have him that day,  we both immediately got a bit nervous. He told us to go on over to L&D and they were waiting for us.
As we walked down the hall to L&D it hit me. This was it, we were finally going to get our baby. The minute we walked into the room I started to cry, I had not been back to that part of the hospital since I had Harrison and all the emotions came flooding back. I was scared, scared that maybe my body couldn't handle the delivery, scared that maybe something would go wrong, and also so happy that really I knew everything would be ok and it would only be a matter of time before I'd have my sweet baby in my arms. Trent calmed me down and assured me everything was going to be ok. Harrison would be with us watching over us and soon we'd have our new baby boy. I got hooked up to the machines and the nurses took such good care of me and were so happy I was having a baby and that all was well. My dad and Trent gave me a blessing and then the wait began. I was given pitocin about 11:00 and was only a 2-3 and not very thinned so I had a ways to go. I did pretty well without an epidural for a bit. I wanted to get my body progressed as far as possible before I got it because it always slows me down. I got through a few hours and then was ready, might as well be comfortable. She checked me after the epidrual and I was only a 3 and 80% thinned. What!?!? OH well. I have low blood pressure so when I get the epidural it drops even lower. I was glad I knew that this time because they were ready when it dropped. They flushed me with fluids, gave me the meds and monitored me for a few hours till it came back up. She checked me about and hour later and I was a 6 finally things were progressing. I laid back trying to get some rest thinking it would be another few hours when I started to feel nauseous.  I pushed the button and my nurse ran in and said this could be it.  She put oxygen on me, ahh I love that stuff and she checked me, I was 9,10.  She said I was ready. What?!? The nurse was right. She said once I thinned all the way which took a few hours, I would progress super fast.  They paged my Dr, we called our family to make sure they were ready because our little guy was coming. My fabulous Dr came in and got all prepped. I made a practice pushes and was doing pretty good, but for some reason everytime I pushed he would come out and then go back. So my Dr said, lets try laying you back and then lifting your bum.  With the next contraction I did just that, pushed two times and my little Finn was born.  I started to cry when he said to stop pushing. I knew he was out and all was well. The spirit in the room was amazing. I was so happy and just overwhelmed with emotion that my baby boy was alive and well. I know in those last few minutes he was holding hands with his brother Harrison and saying goodbye for now. It made me so happy that they had each other in heaven and in a way makes me sad that Harrison is still there. But I know he's so happy for Griffin to be with us I have a feeling that Harrison isn't too far.
Dr. Seale then pulled Griffin up and then I heard the sweet cry. I had waited so long to hear my baby cry and there it was. He was here, safe and sound. They placed Finn on me right away and all I could say was, "He's so small."
They placed Finn on me and he never left my chest. It was amazing.  The nurses asked me before I had Griffin if I wanted full skin to skin right from the beginning or after he was all ready and I wanted the whole thing. They did almost everything with him right on me. They cleaned him, put his diaper on him, put the drops in his eyes, shots, everything. It was the most amazing feeling. He calmed down immediately and that connection was made. He swallowed a lot of amniotic fluid when he came out, so he was having a little difficulty breathing, so they kept suctioning him, but he was healthy, beautiful, and alive!!!!! The only time they took him off of me was to measure and weigh him and I was so anxious to see and when they said, 6lbs, 9.7oz I was shocked, so tiny to me. I was just amazed.
Trent and I were just so happy to have our little Griffin here. Hudson and Ruby then came in and I started to cry when I saw them. I love them so much. Its amazing that one heart could be so full. I was so excited to finally show them that Griffin really would be ok and get to live with us. I know Hudson was so excited and so happy that I was right. They love him so much and can't leave his side. Hudson didn't want to put him down.
When Hudson had to leave that night he gave one last hug and kiss to Griffin then someone took Griffin from him and he started to cry. He didn't want to leave him at the hospital because the last time he held his last brother he didn't come home with us. I tried to reassure him that Griffin and I would be just fine and be home the next day.  He said he just didn't want to leave him. It was the saddest thing ever. We were all crying. I just held my Hudson remembering how small he used to be and realizing how old he was what a sweet soul he has. He gave Finn one last hug and kiss and we tried to reassure him again. He called me that night and asked all about him. The next morning all he wanted to do was come up to the hospital to see him. He hasn't been able to leave his side since. And if he has to, well its pretty much the same, he cries and kisses him but he's getting better.
I love my children so much. I am such a blessed mother and I couldn't ask for anything more. We are so in love with our little Griffin he has brought such a joy back into our lives and given us all hope.