A look back

I can honestly say that 2008 will be a year I will never forget. A year that will be etched in my memory for the rest of my life. It was a year with lots of joys and also lots of sadness.
We had fun enjoying Ruby as a walking, talking, toddler, who has grown up so fast. People can't believe she just turned two. Not because of her size, she's average on weight and a little tall, but its when she opens her mouth. They can't believe a 2 year old talks as well as she does, and she's been talking that way for forever. We love that girl.
Hudson turned 4 in 2008 and just turned into a little boy. He is no longer a toddler. He wants to do all big things. He just amazes me at what he can do. He is the smartest little thing. He surprises me everyday. And this kids memory, dang, I better watch out. I can't believe this year he will turn 5 and go to kindergarten. I know that will be sad/happy day for us. But he can't wait.
Trent and I were able to go on a great trip to Cancun. We had such a blast, its so fun to get out, see new places, and be together. We also both did the South Beach diet at the beginning of last year and I lost 29lbs and he lost 20. Yes kind of embarrassing to admit but it worked and we felt great. We are both going to start it up again because with the holidays and me gaining about 8 lbs being pregnant we want to get back to feeling better. It won't be as hard this time though.
Trent and I celebrated our 6 year anniversary. Crazy how long its been.
And we moved into our current home the weekend before Christmas. Yes a crazy time, but we love it. I already LOVE this home. Its nothing like the Mountain Green home, but I just love it. I feel so at peace, at home, and comfortable here already. Its a great home, in an awesome neighborhood, great schools, and wonderful people. Its a home we could stay forever in if we decide too. Its got 5 bedrooms and room for one more when we finish the rest of the basement. It has an awesome view and it just feels right here.
On some crazy, weird, sad notes:
I got horrible food poisoning in June, that made me pass out and scared Trent so bad that he called 911. I was in the ER all morning and they pumped me full of fluids and meds which helped me recover faster. I must have a sensitive stomach because I had food poisoning three times this year, one being the day after Thanksgiving.
We sold our favorite home in June. I loved that home. I felt comfortable there. It was the home that Hudson grew up in, Ruby was born in and we made some great friends in. We had fun making it our own place, doing the yard, and just being happy there. It was good time to move and we sold it for a great price, but it was still hard to leave.
We then decided to do a lease option to buy on a gorgeous home in Mountain Green. I liked it up there for the most part. But it never felt like home. Mountain Green has beautiful scenery, wonderful neighbors, and kids everywhere. The house was all brand new, never been lived in, so that was nice too. But for some reason nothing went right for us in that house. I would always say, is this house cursed?
I found out I was pregnant a week after we had moved in. We were a little overwhelmed, not ready and totally shocked. But it didn't take long, really only a day or two to fall in love with that baby. The whole family was so excited.
Unfortunately the pregnancy did not go well. I was told from the beginning I would never make it to my due date. I would either have a miscarriage or go into preterm labor. I went to the Dr weekly but every time our little Harry was surviving and the Dr's were shocked at how well he was handling all the blood loss. I was put on bed rest for precautions, but unfortunately my body due to all the blood loss, was not replacing my blood fast enough, so I was hospitalized and was told I would be there till I had him. But one night I started to hemorrhage to death and started to have blood transfusions and the trauma to my body sent me into labor. Harrison was born 3 days before Halloween and was the most perfect baby. I miss him daily. I can't help but wonder what I could've have differently to make the outcome better. He would either be in the NICU right now or I would be 30 weeks right now. Its hard because I would still be pregnant right now and I miss that. And I know that if he would've survived he would have been suffering if he was in the NICU all this time, but I still can't help and wish he was here right now. I know he's in a better place but I still can't help but ask why? Why couldn't my body handle it, why did he have to die? I miss him. We all miss him. I shock myself sometimes at how happy I am. I of course have my moments, like almost every time I get in the shower the water works turn on. Its my one quiet place I think and pray. I feel guilty that I am happy most days but I know its what me and my family need. And I know that I have my little angel with me always helping me get through this. I miss Harrison but I know he's with Heavenly Father and Jesus and that he is with me. I feel that Harrison is making me a better person because I need to do all I can to be with him again someday.
Then, two weeks after I had Harry, Trent said we had to move. Which at the time I was devastated. I was still trying to recover from everything and the stress wasn't good on my body, we think that's why I got food poisoning. We just felt that our good situation in that home was a good situation anymore, so we decided to look for a home that we could buy. It was hard and stressful, but it didn't take long to find a great house. And we were able to move in before Christmas which is what we wanted. And now we are settled and happy. The kids love it here. I guess with everything that went on I didn't traumatize them like I thought.

Well, I think that's about it. We had a great year on some notes and a not so great year on others. I will never forget this year. I look back on this year and laugh sometimes and think, "man did I need to be humbled or what?" I know trials only make you stronger and I truly believe it. It was a year that I feel was horrible but yet we were also so blessed at the same time. I will never forget it. I just hope and pray that I was humbled enough in 2008 to have a better year in 2009.